How I F*ck as a Professional MILF

NATALIE RIVERA: It was the first time they'd ever sleep together. Hell, it was the first time they met in person. They had talked extensively before about what they wanted to do to each other. Actually more like what Rachel was going to do with her. The young woman had flown all the way to Florida to see Rachel. To have Rachel do things to her. 

RACHEL STEELE: We went upstairs, and the shoot house is perfect. It's all set up. Every room has toys; there's lube in every room. It's just perfectly set up to go and have sex.

NR: But they weren’t going to use those toys, at least not just yet, because Rachel was going to mother the young woman first. Rachel placed her on her lap and unbuttoned her blouse. 

RS: I was breastfeeding her and stroking her hair and then she took my hand and she like, like put my hand down her panties.

NR: This is How I Fck and I’m your host Natalie Rivera. I know— that opening scene was pretty hot. My voice kind of ruined the mood, but I promise you we will explore that story again, and with more details in this episode. Because that’s what we do and that’s what we’re going to continue doing this season, our third season. If you’re new to the podcast, welcome. We’re glad you’re here. I’m a journalist and audio producer that wants to learn more about what turns people on and how they f*ck, so I’m happy to have you along for the ride. If you’re already a listener then thank you for sticking with us. We hope this season excites you like the others. Anyways back to our story today: MILFs, or MOM-I’D-LIKE- TO-F*CK. A MILF is defined as “a sexually attractive older woman, typically one who has children.” By that definition, adult performer Rachel Steele is definitely a MILF. She is a mother and she is very attractive, so much so that she’s built a business around her MILFness and her experience with the mommy fetish. 

RS: I started working at a little nail salon in Tampa. And I was making like 50% Commission. The money was just, it was just some days I didn't have any clients come in so I wouldn't get paid. I was really struggling. And one day this girl came in and sat down and said: “I want my nails done and I want you to polish, I want all designs on all ten of them and I want them this length. And I want some of that nail jewelry over there and I want rhinestones.” And I told her “Wow, okay, I can do your nails like that but it's gonna cost like $75 for me to do all that.” And she's like, “Oh, I got plenty of money.” And she whips out this wad of cash and just goes, “Here you go, honey. Keep the change.” I was like, wow, what do you do for work? And she's like, “I'm a dancer.”

NR: At that time, Rachel was a single mom of two. She was married before but left her husband after his drinking got worse and he started to get violent. 

RS: He got violent and threw a chair at me when I was pregnant with my daughter. So I called the police and the police came. And they said, “There are no marks on you. Why did you call us?” And I said, “You know, he threw a chair at me, I'm pregnant. And I'm in fear for my life. And I would like you to remove him.” And they said, “Well, he's on the lease. So here's a card for, you know, a family hotline or abuse shelter that you can maybe go to,” so they were no help at all. 

NR: Rachel did call that shelter. She packed her bags the next day and left her husband. The shelter was able to give her a one-way ticket to anywhere in the country, so Rachel picked Florida where she went to school to get her nail technician license. That’s how Rachel ended up working at that hair/nail salon. A nail technician and a single mother of two speaking to a dancer who was making a lot more money than she was. 

RS:  I was asking her what does she do and how does she make this money and she said, “You should check it out here and you know, you're a single mother, you're struggling, you could do it, you could definitely do it.” You've got the body for it. And I just thought about it. And I ended up grabbing a fellow girlfriend hairstylist who was also struggling and told her about this and she said let's go. So the two of us went. We just went one evening to go in as guests and just sort of hang out and check out the place, the establishment and see what was going on. See if we felt comfortable with it. And we did.

NR: Rachel didn’t have much of an opinion about dancers, or sex work in general. She had a pretty sheltered childhood and wasn’t around conversations about sex very much. She did start having penetrative sex when she was around 16, 17, and then there was her first marriage which happened when she was pretty young, so her relationship with her sexuality didn’t really exist outside of her monogamous relationships. And on top of that, she was a mom now. Could she really see herself up there, dancing mostly naked for a bunch of strangers, mostly men? Yes. Yes, she f*cking could. 

RS: When I set out to do things, I need to go right to the top, I can't just take my time and ease into it. So of course, I had to go to the one place in Tampa that's fully nude. And is like one of the hottest bars to be for new dancers. And that's when you can get really a little nasty, and you can get on your hands and knees and stick your ass in people's faces. And that's when you start to get the offers for a private dance. 

NR: It took Rachel some time to get used to her new job, or rather her second job since she was still working in that salon, but after some time she noticed that working there was changing her. 

RS: I felt more confident and more empowered. And I also kind of learned that there's a dynamic, you know, after being in an abusive relationship, and I also had abusive boyfriends as well, that we didn't even bring up yet. But that sort of showed me that I had power as a woman like I have power over these men.

NR: One day a customer at the club asked Rachel if he could hire her for some different services. He wanted her to humiliate him. 

RS: We made it like a contract. He would take me on business trips. We went to Minneapolis for four days. So he would pay for my plane ticket and he would pay for me to have my own room, my meals and then he would also pay me a fee, whatever, I decided to charge him for those days away. And then he would go to work during the day, and then come back and then I would humiliate him. When he came back from work in his hotel room. I would come in and dress up in different, different sexy lingerie-type outfits. Sometimes he would buy what he wanted me to wear. And I would wear that and just come in the hotel room and just go to town on him just totally degrade him and humiliate him and make him sit in the chair in the corner and masturbate while I just slowly did like a striptease and would lay on the bed and tease him but he was never allowed to touch me. 

NR: How did you humiliate this person?

RS: Yeah, um, it was he, he basically just wanted me to… he was an older gentleman. He was short and he was heavy, balding, you know, I'm just gonna say he wasn't, you know, an attractive, handsome guy. So he said, I want you to use that, you know, I want you to tell me that I'm disgusting. And I'm fat and I'm hairy, and I'm a pervert, and I'm useless. And, you know, the whole time that I would say these things to him, he would have his hand in his pocket, and he'd be masturbating while I'm telling him this. So I would just watch his body language and I would just get more intense and more intense with the insults. just telling him basically those things like, “You disgust me. You'll never ever find your head between my legs. This, you'll never have this. You're just a filthy, perverted little man with a tiny little penis.

NR: This was Rachel’s first brush with having a dominant role in a sexual setting. She f*cking loved it.

RS: I did that a couple of times with him and felt that that was very empowering for me, and I really liked it. 

NR: Rachel worked as a dancer and occasional humiliator for one year while also still working at the hair salon. She saved up so much money that she actually bought the hair salon he worked at. 

RS:  Take took a backseat because I then had a business to run and children to take care of. 

NR: Rachel spent 14 years running her own hair salon, being her own boss. She met a man at a bar one day who she would later marry who was nothing like her first husband. Still, there were struggles. 

RS: At the time, I was really struggling with the salon and trying to afford everything. The kids were getting older and their needs were a lot more demanding.

NR: One Saturday morning she was having brunch and drinks by the pool with her boyfriend, who would later become her husband. They were both drunk and Rachel felt sexy. 

RS: I said I'm going to go put on something and I put on a white tank top. That is a lifeguard, it says lifeguard on it. And some red thong, bathing suit bottom. And then I jumped in the pool and I jumped out and I said, look at me. And then he started taking pictures. And he said, “You know, there's an adult website. It's like a hotwife, something website. I was looking at it the other day, and they said they have some sort of a photo contest going on. And it doesn't have to be nudity. And I guess the prize is like $600. These photos are kind of sexy, if you want me to send them in, I can do that.” So I said Sure why not? 

NR: Two weeks later, Rachel gets the news that she won the contest. $600 for a photo she took spontaneously by the pool? It was that easy?

RS: That got my wheels in motion, in my head thinking, wow, I'm working really, really hard, long hours. It's exhausting. I've been doing it for years. There's another way that I can make money that would be a little less demanding. And I would be able to have more freedom and be able to be home. The entrepreneur mind always at work. So I started looking into that website, and then I went down the rabbit hole of you know, adult sex work. And I found camming. And I thought camming would be the first step for me, that would be the way that I would want to go. So I signed up with a cam site and I started doing webcam work.

NR: She toyed with camming for a bit before closing the salon and committing to it full-time. She was in her late 30s at the time. 

RS: So my partner started to help me with that. We invested in a nice camera and a good video camera. I put on different outfits. And he took some different pictures in different rooms of the house. Just like a modeling shoot. And because I was in the salon industry, I knew how to do my makeup. I knew how to do my hair. I knew how to put some outfits together. So from dancing, I knew “Oh, I can get thigh highs. Oh, I know. I'll get crotchless panties. Oh, I know, I'll get some black shiny leather outfit, I'll get a housewife outfit.” And I signed up for everything, got those pictures uploaded. Then I sat in front of the computer in my at the time partner’s office and I had a few dildos sitting on the desk and I had a few outfits in the back. And then I just waited for somebody to send a little message. I had a lot of interesting requests, some very strange requests. Probably one of the most, one of the strangest ones was he wanted me to put on scuba gear. And my partner at the time was a diver. And so he had literally had scuba gear in the closet in the office that I was working in. I was like scuba gear, yes, I have it. The guy was shocked. He couldn't believe it. And I go, I have a mask, I have the fins. He goes, put on a bathing suit, put the mask on, but the fins on, and then pretend you're underwater swimming. And I'm gonna masturbate. And so I did, I sat in the chair with my fins and my mask, and I pretended I was swimming. And I did that for 10 minutes. And then that was his time. And he said, “Oh, thank you so much, I'll be back again.” Then another very interesting one was “food boy.” And he would contact me and asked me what I had in my refrigerator. And then I ended up purchasing a rubber sheet because food boy became a regular. And he wanted me to basically get condiments out of the refrigerator, and certain vegetables, and sit on the rubber sheet and pour that stuff all over me as much of it as I could squeeze out of the tubes in my hair all down my face, just cover myself and then masturbate with cucumbers or zucchini, or whatever I had in the refrigerator at the time.

NR: Food boy was also a regular. A lot of her other customers would ask her to humiliate them, especially those that had a small penis. 

RS: They could turn their camera on, and I could see them, and then I could humiliate them about the size of their penis and how pathetic and a little it is, and how they're never going to be able to f*ck anyone with that little penis and. 

NR: Rachel learned so much during camming, about what people like, about all different kinds of fetishes that existed out there. Before, especially in her first marriage, she would have a lot of vanilla sex. Now she knew that there were many different flavors of sex, and she wanted to learn them all. 

RS: They were my teachers, and they still are my teachers, I've learned so much from my customers from my clients from my followers spans whatever title we give them. Because they would send me and tell me, this is what I want. And then I would just play that role and play it out. And I could see when I'm when someone's getting really excited. And, and so it just became very like, you know, I felt really good. At the end of the day when I was done. And I shut everything down. I felt like there were a lot of happy people out there.

NR: Rachel was camming for about two years when she got the attention of some producers in Tampa. They wanted to shoot some fetish-based productions with her, not all of them full-length pornographic films. Just content of Rachel by herself, pleasuring herself. 

RS: I started to see all the different ways there is to film. You know, these fetish clips, these little fetish movies. I did a shoot for another producer in Tampa. I shot for a Bettie Page like look alike. And she did Betty page style pin-up 1950s vintage lingerie pinup style shoots and it was all very fetishy with the focus being on vintage lingerie, such as certain stockings thigh high stockings that are from the 1950s their garter belts, the pointy bras. And she wanted more curvy full-figured women to shoot her content. So I started to shoot with her. And she started to have me back on a regular basis. And she said that my and then I started to look at the clips that I made for her on the website where I also saw my content on clips for sale. That's a website and an adult fetish website. And I started to see that my content was doing really well and selling quite well and in her top five. So she then referred me to a bondage production company and the owner of that leave was called girl next door. Girl Next Door bondage. He hired me to shoot with him. And that was a whole different experience. I was wearing 1950s girdles and the pointy bras and the the the nude, old fashioned stockings and the shiny black pumps and they were doing my hair and makeup to make me look like kind of like 1950s housewife. and it was basically called damsel in distress or as we call it in the industry di D. damsel in distress. And that was basically being bound and gagged and attacked. There was no intercourse, no sex, no penetration, and no nudity. It was all again the focus on the 1950s vintage lingerie curvy, MILF-y women and being gagged so then I learned all about the fetishes about gagging. You know, there's over the mouth, there's a clear gag, there's a ball gag, there's stuffing the mouth with panties, and then putting something over the mouth. There's around the head, there's under the hair. I mean, it's so detailed, you know as to each specific, turn on for people that are into watching someone being Gad, just as there is what are they wearing? are they wearing those stockings have these shiny shoes. So every little thing gets somebody off. And that's what I find fascinating as well. Because, you know, when you're working with these producers, they're like now make sure that you know that you show this side of the stocking because it has this little lace part and that's what they like. So it's like, so detailed.

NR: Okay, before we move any further we need to address the term “fetish.” A fetish is a sexual fixation on a specific object or act that is necessary to a person’s sexual gratification. It’s usually something that isn’t meant to be sexual, like stockings or feet, which is actually one of the most common fetishes. It’s different from a kink whereas the term kink is a pretty broad in that it encompasses a bunch of alternative sexual interests, preferences or fantasies that aren’t conventional, so maybe BDSM or roleplaying. A fetish, however, is a bit more specific, so it made sense that these producers Rachel worked with were so detailed. They understood their audience and wanted to deliver exactly what their audience wanted. Rachel was fascinated. She wanted to do the same thing: make productions. So she did. 

RS: So I started my own production company with my partner. He wasn't really making any of the decisions. It was all up to me to decide what I wanted to do, what kind of content I wanted to do, how often I wanted to do it, who I wanted to do it with.

NR: Rachel started shooting stuff solo, her husband behind the camera as she played with herself. Then she started experimenting with POV, kind of like Go-Pro style shoots. Then she started using her husband, you know, for more than just his camera work. 

RS: I was just using his d*ck really, because we wouldn't film his face. So we would only film like me coming in and pulling the bedsheet down, and then like giving him a slow handjob while he holds the camera, again, that's called point of view. So you just see his cock and me. And that did really, really well. And that started to, of course, do better than just my solo stuff. But then it was getting more taxing and demanding on my partner. Because I wanted to continue to make a lot of content because I was, I didn't want to go back to work, you know, in retail or any other job, I wanted to do this, I wanted to have that freedom. So we both talked about it and said, you know, we might, we might consider starting hiring, you know, having other models come to work with you, males, females, whatever you want. So we agreed. 

NR: One of Rachel’s friends who was a fetish model suggested that Rachel shoot with her partner, who was looking for that type of work. Rachel agreed and they set some time together to shoot. The guy was younger than Rachel. A lot younger.

RS: I had a script that was sent in. And this was the very first script that I got. That was the taboo content. So I was doing milk, you know, mother, hot mom, the hot mom next door, the neighbor, the cheating housewife, all of that, but this person sent me an email with a script, where it was mother, son. And I was like, Oh, that's taboo. 

NR: This was the first time that Rachel shot with someone other than her husband, who took up his spot behind the camera once again.

RS: The film was “Jack, I am Your Mother with an Exclamation Point.” He was upset that he couldn't get a girlfriend and I was walking around in my silky robe and my nightgown and he was getting turned on. He was sitting on the couch in his boxer shorts. And they were like, Calvin Klein, kind of tight boxer shorts. And he's sitting there and he was getting hard. He was getting an erection. And I looked over, and I told him that I'm your mother, you know, you, what are you doing? And he said, I can't help it. And then I said, Well, I understand you're frustrated. And there was a lot of dialogue back and forth. And then he ended up getting up and sort of coming at me like, it was where he is more of the aggressor. So he came to me and grabbed onto me and said that he wanted, you know, he wanted me and I think we danced a little bit. And then there was like a little romance and we sat on the couch, and we started to kiss and kissing. And then he slowly stripped off my clothes and enjoyed my body all the way down. And then I enjoyed his body sucking his cock, and he was eating me and, and then we, I got on my hands and knees on the couch. And he started f*cking me doggy style. And then we did missionary and I think might have like flipped around and done, reverse cowgirl too. And then we finished off where he was when he was ready to come, I would get on my knees, and he would come in my mouth and on my face. And then I would just open my mouth and show it to the camera. And that was that.

NR: They uploaded the video online and it did incredibly well, better than expected. Rachel knew she had something, so she started to shift her focus. 

RS: So I went from just being like the hot mom next door to taboo and covering like family. A family situation like, you know, mother, son, Aunt, nephew, mother, daughter. And I went down and started doing all of that, because that's then that was just the biggest, most requested content that people were asking for. 

NR: Her business grew and she and her husband were able to start hiring more people to shoot with, also scriptwriters. They stopped filming in their own home and started renting a house where they could shoot. But while Rachel now had a team of experts helping her, it was her customers who were the experts she really needed to take direction from. 

RS: I started to get more customers writing in telling me what they wanted to see. Come up with some amazing scripts. I loved it. I didn't have to write any scripts, I would just put it out there on Twitter, what do you want to see? And they would just send amazing scripts that I would end up shooting. And I started to get more requests for Can you do it with two sons? Can you do it with your daughter? Can you have a family game night where there are like five of you and you all have sex? We started to create more family content and girl stuff and me with lots of other people acting and again, I kept it as an amateur. 

NR: Amaeteur but also more narrative. What makes Rachel’s videos different from as she puts it “mainstream porn” is that her films are almost like soap operas. Erotic soap operas with a lot of incest going on. Like her mother-daughter videos. 

RS: So like a mother-daughter scene would be like, my daughter's she's home and I come home from work and I pour myself a drink and she's bummed out on the couch. Maybe her boyfriend broke up with her. Or maybe she's feeling bad about something that happened at school or she's not, you know, doesn't have many friends. We just moved. The dad just left we're divorced. And she's feeling sorry and I start hugging her and consoling her and telling her how pretty she is. And she'll make friends not too Worry and don't worry about that boyfriend, you know, you're going to find someone else in your life to know. Just give her the little mom-daughter talk, you know? And then she might stroke my hair and tell me that, you know, she loves me and I make her feel better. And then I give her a little kiss. And then she kisses me back. And then she kisses me again. And before you know it, we're having sex. So it is a little, you know, and but there are so many different storylines that I've done. I couldn't even begin to tell you.

NR: Then there are the family game nights.

RS: I got the idea from the movie Jumanji? I I sometimes watch the most innocent things and think Ooh, that would make a great porn movie. So I was watching Jumanji and I got the idea to have a board game family night where we've got mom, dad, brother, sister. And I think there might have been the art which would be my sister, the hot art. So say there was five of us. And we're all sitting around and I bought this board game at some old vintage antique store. And some witchy looking lady was behind the counter and she said it had magic properties. And I was like yeah, sure. Okay, here's your 20 bucks. Thanks, lady. Get the game home. Well, the lady was right, there's some kind of witchy properties to this game. So we open up the game and we each get our piece or little pieces that we're going to play you know our player piece and I guess when you touch your player piece, something happens to you you get like possessed by the game by the board and we would do a little special effects making like a little dream sequence sound or something so you know, okay, she just got affected up he got affected now we're all affected. And then we roll the dice and instead of it saying jumped three spaces to park place or something it would say jump three seats over on the couch and suck your father's caulk. Or it would say it's time for you to eat your mother's pussy or it's time for you to stroke your son's cop or it's time for you to eat you're on your sister's pussy. Whatever we just mixed it all up and then before you know it, the whole room all five of us stripped down we're all having sex with each other everyone's f*cking sucking jerking. And of course at the end everybody's covered income.

NR: How did you feel about the content?

RS: It didn't bother me at all. I thought that I thought it was really interesting that this this was such a demand and and then I started to think about it like, psychologically, and I'm like, yeah, this makes sense. You know, it's the mother, the mother's the first kind of body or role model that you see. So I can understand that there could be an attraction. And you can also read, you know, that there is in psychology talks about, you know, these different complexes that that people can have, and the attractions, for whatever reason, and people that I spoke to that email me and contact me and asked me to do content or make custom films for them. I always ask them a few personal questions, because I'm just curious, like, you know, and most of them have told me that they're, they don't actually want to have sex with their family members. It's just the taboo thought of it, it's that you're not supposed to do that.

NR: Rachel really enjoys talking to her audience. She learned that when it came to this mommy kink or fetish for some, that there were specific things that her viewers enjoyed, that they needed to feel satisfied. 

RS:  Again, in this, this world, when you really start to learn about people's wants, desires, thoughts, kinky thought taboo thoughts. You know, they get very, very detailed about what they want to see and hear. In the scripts, they want to hear certain words used, and I'm sure these are going to be trigger words for them. But all kinds of different things like in the taboo, it would be things like either the son is aggressive with the mom or the mom is aggressive with the son. But lots of dirty talk like, Oh, I can't believe you're f*cking your mother right now. I can't believe I'm sucking my son's cock right now. Oh, how does your mom's pussy taste? So it's like, they're, they really want to hear the dirty talk. And in using the word mom using the word son getting pregnant pregnancy risk coming Come in may come in me get me pregnant, like there are all these little keywords that get repeated a lot from I get this from a lot of

NR: There’s not much out there about how many people have a mom fetish or kink, but in the book, Tell Me What You Want by Justin Lehmiller, a psychologist and research fellow at the Kinsey Institute surveyed more than 4,000 Americans from all 50 states and found that 11% of the people he spoke to fantasized about dressing up and/or acting like a child. That’s called age play, and while that’s not exactly what Rachel was doing in the productions she just described, that is something that she also specializes in.

RS: So I also worked for another production company. Florida adult babies, I believe, where I played the role of an aunt, Auntie Donna. And this is where I met a lot of followers, or clients who have this fetish of being breastfed, and literally like they're reverting back into childlike states, and you are the strict mother. So there's a lot of emphasis on breastfeeding, actual diaper changes for adults, putting diapers on them, powdering them, changing them. That's a whole different fetish that I shot for another production company. I didn't actually make those movies myself, I didn't produce those. But I did for another company. And I got a lot of fans writing to me and asking me to do things from my production company with breastfeeding. And that, you know, the mother nurturing the child, kind of scenario. 

NR: Are you yourself turned on by these kind of scenarios?

RS: This taboo, it doesn't like excite me sexually, really. I get excited from the taboo itself. So it's not like something that I fantasize about, like my son or anything like that. I don't fantasize about that myself. But I, I get turned on when someone else is turned on. And I know that I'm creating something that's going to turn somebody on and drive them crazy and send them over the top. So that's why I worked so hard with my productions to make sure that we're covering every little detail. And when I'm filming, and in it, yeah, I'm turned on. I love it. It's It's hot. It turns me on.

NR: Producing her own content and sometimes starring in others’ content meant that Rachel was spread pretty thin. Her husband was also becoming burnt out— he was shooting, directing, and performing in some of his wife’s content, which if you’re in the industry you understand just how demanding it is. 

RS: It was tricky sexually for us because he would be exhausted because literally, he would be f*cking people all day. And he was older. So he was like, I just, you know, I don't have that much stamina, I can't f*ck people all day and then come home and f*ck at night too. So he was kind of getting tired. And so I was like, Well, you know, I still want to fuck around. So we agreed that I could kind of we have like kind of an opening there where I could go out occasionally and hook up with some of the male models I might have shot with or just go down to my local hangout spot and get a little action if I felt like it.

NR: You said that you were going out with like, people that maybe you met on set and stuff, were these people a lot younger than you.

RS: Yep, I would occasionally hook up with the male models that I would shoot with. And they were all at least my, you know, to be my son. So they had to be 10 1520 years younger. So that and that was about the age group that of the guys that were applying for the job. And it's something again, that I never really thought or sought out, I never was intentionally saying, I want someone younger, I want someone 20 years younger, I want this age person. This is what I was drawn this, these are the people that I was drawn to, and they were drawn to me. All the males that I shot with answered an ad that they were attracted to and wanted a sexual experience with an older woman with a mouth. So that was their turn to start. And, and it just seemed to work for me as well. I liked the energy. And that's just who I was drawn to. And they were drawn to me. So it was not even like me seeking that out.

NR: Are there any advantages of like date dating someone or sleeping with someone who's younger than you, as opposed to someone who's like around the same age as you?

RS:  Because I've never really been with anybody that's my age. Or that's the same age as me, I except for my husband. And then when I was in he was five years younger than me. So I guess I could say from listening to women that are in relationships with older men, or that are dating older men. You know, there's a lot of complaints about erection problems and difficulties, sexual performance difficulties and things like that. So and this can happen with anyone of any age actually, but I really haven't experienced that with younger men. So I would say that I guess an advantage is maybe they have stamina and they can keep up. 

NR: Of course, it wasn’t just younger men that Rachel was fooling around with. Rachel has been attracted to women almost as long as she has been attracted to men. In fact, her first sexual experience with someone else was actually with another girl back in high school. And there were also the mother-daughter videos that she would make, so Rachel was used to sleeping with younger women. 

RS: I had one. One girlfriend, we ended up she was, she reached out to me by email. And she said she was a big fan. And she's been following me and watching my porn. And she's really turned on by the whole mom, Mommy, mommy fetish. And we started talking about that. And I and I gave her my phone number so we could text so we didn't have to talk back and forth on email. And then we ended up just like chatting and chatting. We just really like, couldn't like stop talking and sending pictures to each other. And she's there to tell, you know, calling me mommy and it started to get a little sexual.

NR: The woman was 18 and lived in New York. They agreed to meet in Florida where Rachel lives so they could finally play out this mother-daughter fantasy that they kept texting each other about. 

RS:   And that's where we had our first sexual experience. What we want upstairs in the shoot house is perfect. It's all set up. Every room has toys, everywhere there's lube in every room. There's, it's just perfectly set up to like go and have sex. So she was gonna stay there of course, and we went into the big master bedroom and there's a big king-size bed. And she wanted me to kind of like, mother her, and she wanted to act very, like childlike. Like, she had been a bad girl and I was a little upset with her and I'm gonna have to give her a little spanking she told me this is all that she wanted. Give her a little spanking and then she would pretend to cry and then I would hold her and nurture her and then she wanted to breastfeed you know, so she's, I was still cradled her in my arms and unbuttoned my blouse and then like breastfeed her and she was doing that and I was breastfeeding her and stroking her hair and then she took my hand and she like, like put my hand down her panties. And then we just, like laid on the bed together and then it just started to get from you know, like the mothering nurturing, to more like just us two together and very excited. We started kissing and getting into it. And, you know, I knew that she had never been with a woman before. She told me too, that she had never been with a man. So she's a virgin. So I was a little concerned about that with her. And I told her that, you know, we could play together. But as far as you know, any kind of fucking, or anything like that I really didn't want to be. I didn't want to do that until I got to know her a little bit better. So we just, we had a really nice, like lovemaking session, we just sort of kissed and played with each other and she got, you know, got to enjoy my body and go down on me and I went down on her and, and then we kind of both had orgasms and we both spooned and fell asleep. And she stayed for about a week.

NR: Sounds like these kinds of mommy scenarios play out a lot in your personal life. 

RS:    And it did with her. And to be honest with you, I honestly, you know, after filming for so many years, and reading so many scripts and acting out so many scripts and playing out so many different role plays, it almost becomes, like, difficult to just to not do that. to just have vanilla sex. It's like you don't even really what do you what are we doing? You don't even it just becomes very different. It's a whole different dynamic. So for me, I almost you know, I enjoy roleplay I really do enjoy it, and, and it's part of my sex it's… it's how I like to fuck. 

NR: What Rachel enjoys sexually took a bit of a turn when Rachel’s husband passed away in 2014. She took a break from making content and moved back to her hometown in Maine. She did a lot of healing there before getting back to dating and sex. She signed up for Tinder and matched with a guy she had never met before. He, however, knew a lot about her. 

RS: he said, I have to tell you something, I have to be honest. And I said, What's that? He goes, I know who you are. I know you're Rachael Steele, and I'm a big fan. So I was like, okay, that's all right. At least I don't have to, like, you know, try to hide what I do. 

NR: She and the Tinder date ended up doing some role-playing that night, dominant and submissive stuff, not mommy stuff. While she had slept with a few fans before, it was mostly other performers that she would hook up with. 

RS: This is how my dating pool started to open up. I was just like, literally, fans were reaching out and ones that I was attracted to and stuff I would, I would meet them. And I was having really good sex with my fans. I traveled over to Europe, actually, after my husband passed away. And I stayed over there for 40 days. So I had one in Ireland, one in Scotland, the one in Scotland. 

NR: While the fan in Scotland had a thing for mommy roleplaying, it was the fan in Scotland that introduced Rachel to something she hadn’t done before. 

RS: I had one in Ireland that was into the daddy kink. So he would be my daddy, and I would be his baby girl. And that was a fun dynamic that I had never played before. He told me that that was his thing. That's what he liked. And I was like, Alright, let's try. I'll try that. That sounds like fun. Because I was open. I'm exploring all the time. I'm constantly learning and exploring my own sexuality. So, you know, my mind was always open to what do you have in mind, you know, and I played that role out with him. And that was exciting and fun. 

NR: Do you feel like there's like a, there are similarities between BDSM and this kind of, like, milk fetish, you know because it seems like you're kind of like, jumping, you're kind of like switching between roles of like a domme or like a mom who is disciplining their child in this play. So I'm just curious, like, how, if those seem very, like, you know, maybe that's those two seem super distinct, you know, they have nothing in common, or they're all or if there are some commonalities.

RS: Yeah, that's a really good observation. And a good question. I'm glad you brought it up because it does bring me to a subject that I said earlier when I was listing all the categories that I've shot, you know, milk and pantyhose and smoking and shoes and all of that jerk off instruction and the domme mommy is one that comes to mind. And it's always been like, my, my comfort zone. You know, I was when I was just sort of realizing I was going to fetish conventions and seeing some of the BDSM some of the dungeon scenes I've been involved in I actually shot in Chicago for a production company that is really hardcore BDSM and I found that it was a little too hard for my liking and my comfort level. But I then would go back and shoot my stuff and be like, I'm still in a domination sort of role. Even though it's without vegan leather on I'm still a dominatrix in my own right. In most everything, I'm filming, and there is definitely something there. With this whole fetish this mommy fetish. I think that it's definitely a power play. People want to feel that power play. You have power, I have power. And when you're growing up in your child, you are being dominated by people that are older than you So, you know, it can only show that it can leak into your, your sexual expression where you kind of you want that force you want the dominating maybe that's why, you know, my father when I was growing up was abandoned he abandoned us. He never gave compliments or affection he never, you know, made you feel good never promoted you or talked Good, good about you. I'm losing my words right now. So I don't mind that rough daddy kind of take me kind of sex myself because it's probably me being able to give that power away. So there's definitely a connection with my mouth role play and like domination. Role Play there's they're definitely connected. Because you are you're you know, and this is what they're asking for. They're saying I want you to tell me what to do I want you to tell me that I'm not even that I have to do this and you're going to sit on my face and I have to lick your ass and I'm going to worship your body and I'll do you know they want to be that sex toy that sex slave they want me to dominate them but in a different manner not from what everyone is picturing. When you say, dominatrix. You picture someone standing there and completely in black with a whip and handcuffs. And no, I'm there with, you know, a pink cardigan sweater and a pencil skirt. So, you know, it's just definitely a connection.

NR: After a couple of years, Rachel decided to start making content again. She credits her fans for her comeback, and I don’t mean the fans she slept with. 

RS: They were constantly reaching out to me on social media, you know, just encouraging me the whole time. I never announced that my husband passed away, I just announced that I was taking a hiatus. And they were so supportive. And they just kept me so motivated and inspired that I was like, You know what, I'm going to start shooting again, I'm just going to do some solo stuff. something easy. I'll find someone to edit this for me. And I started doing that.

NR: It was while working on this new content that Rachel met her current partner who, of course, was also a fan. He currently edits for Rachel and the two shoot content together regularly. 

RS: We're constantly learning things we roleplay together, we play off-camera more than we do on camera. I've said oh my god, I wish my bedroom was just wired up with cameras because I would never have to shoot another scene. 

NR: Listening to her fans, learning from them, and reading their messages of support not only helped shape Rachel’s career and her sexuality but also helped her get through her husband’s death. Maybe that’s why Rachel is still so committed to giving her audience what they want. While she does make content for her website and OnlyFans it’s the custom videos that she makes for the fans that write in that continue to keep this connection between her and her fans alive.

NR: Rachel, thank you so much. Um, how can people find you?

RS: Yes, they can find me on my website. With 5,000 of all of my work, so over 5,000 of my videos and new content constantly coming, I do customs as well. That would be at rachael-steele.com. And you'll probably have it in the show notes. Then they can find me on Only Fans as Rachel Steele, or on Twitter as @RedMilfRachel. Anybody with any kinky little story that they'd like to see come to life? Just let me know. And I can produce that.

NR: Thank you for listening to How I F*ck. If you like our podcast, give us a rating, leave us a review. Tell a friend. And please, subscribe if you haven’t already. Follow us on Instagram or Twitter, our handles are at howickpodcast, that’s “How I F*ck,” without the “u” so “fck.” We also have a website, howifckpodcast.com, again without the “u.” There you can find all of our episodes as well as show notes, transcriptions, sources, and photos. How I F*ck is produced by me, Natalie Rivera. I’m also the host and creator. Ben Quiles is our audio engineer. Shyanne Lopez did copy and fact check. Original music by Miguel Gutierrez. You can find more of his music online under the artist name Magh. Thank you again for listening. Until next time.